School Avoidance: warning signs parents should know
BOWLING GREEN, Ky. (WNKY) — A child who repeatedly complains of headaches, stomachaches or simply refuses to go to school may be dealing with more than a bad morning.
School psychologists with Bowling Green Independent School District say those behaviors can point to school avoidance, especially when they begin disrupting a child’s routine.
A national survey conducted by Ipsos on behalf of The Kids Mental Health Foundation found 30% of parents whose child missed school because of fear or anxiety said their child missed more than a week during the previous school year.
Look for a pattern
Meaghan Hammer, a Bowling Green Independent school psychologist, said some anxiety about school is normal. What matters is whether something begins to feel out of character.
“Anxiety is something we all feel,” Hammer said. “But when it starts interfering with your daily life … that’s when I would start to get concerned.”
The signs can vary by age. Younger children may complain of headaches or stomachaches. Older students may become less social or show changes in sleep or appetite.
“We’re all going to have an off day,” Hammer said. “But it’s those repeated patterns that we really want to watch for.”
There may be more behind it
Academic struggles can make school stressful. So can problems with friends or the transition into a new school.
Hammer said the move from fifth to sixth grade can be particularly challenging. Students may find themselves in a new building with different teachers, more classmates and plenty of changes happening at the same time.
Alex Wright, also a school psychologist with Bowling Green Independent, said returning from summer break or another extended break can be difficult for younger students as expectations suddenly shift back to assignments and testing.
Acknowledge the fear, but keep moving
When a child is anxious about school, Hammer said parents should take those feelings seriously without making staying home the automatic solution.
“You can validate the emotion without validating the action,” she said. “What you’re feeling is very, very real.”
That includes physical symptoms. Anxiety can make a child genuinely feel sick.
“But we can do hard things,” Hammer said. “I know it might be scary, but just make it through this one day of school and we’ll reassess tomorrow. You know, just take it little by little.”
Wright said parents can also help children talk through the good parts of their day. Anxiety, he said, can cause negative moments to overshadow everything else.
Know when to ask for help
A trusted adult at school can make a difference. That could be a teacher, counselor, school psychologist or another staff member a child feels comfortable approaching.
Hammer said parents should consider additional help if anxiety begins affecting sleep, appetite, friendships or everyday routines.
Wright said regular check-ins with a school counselor can also give students a familiar person to turn to.
“Just having that one positive person who they can build a relationship with at school could be a motivating factor for them to kind of overcome that anxiety and be more motivated to come to school,” Wright said.
