Scottsville vigil remembers domestic violence victims

SCOTTSVILLE, Ky. (WNKY) — People gathered outside the Allen County Judicial Center Thursday night, candles in hand, to remember victims of domestic violence.

Barren River Area Safe Space, or BRASS, organized the vigil for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The evening included the reading of victims’ names, the words of a survivor and a joint proclamation from Scottsville and Allen County.

Abuse is not always visible

Aleasha Martin, director of community operations for BRASS, said domestic violence can be easy to miss from the outside.

“Domestic violence is not always visible,” Martin told the crowd. “Sometimes the deepest wounds are hidden behind smiles, excuses, canceled plans, and the words, ‘I’m fine.’”

That is part of what she wants people to understand.

Someone may be experiencing abuse without having bruises or other visible injuries. Martin said believing them — and listening without judgment — can make it easier for them to reach out.

“I want them to show people compassion and not be judgmental of them,” she said, “so people are comfortable to ask for help when they need it.”

A survivor’s story

One of the evening’s most personal moments came through the words of a survivor who asked to remain anonymous.

Martin read from the woman’s healing journal. She wrote about a relationship that started with insults, humiliation and constant criticism. Later, the abuse became physical.

Still, she questioned whether what was happening to her was serious enough to tell someone.

“I wanted to ask for help, but how do you explain pain that leaves no visible marks?” she wrote.

Eventually, she left.

The woman is now going to school, has a home of her own and is rebuilding her life.

“Leaving was not the end of my story,” she wrote. “It was the beginning of a new one.”

Leaving is not always simple

It can be difficult for others to understand why someone does not immediately leave an abusive relationship.

Martin shared that money, transportation, fear and even shame are some of the barriers survivors may face.

“It’s not like in the movies, all the time,” she said.

During the vigil, organizers also read the names of 31 Kentucky domestic violence victims from the past year. Those gathered then paused for a moment of silence.

Scottsville and Allen County also issued a proclamation recognizing Domestic Violence Awareness Month. According to the proclamation, about 140 people fleeing abusive partners sought services from BRASS during the previous 12 months.

For someone experiencing abuse now, Martin’s advice was direct.

“When it’s safe, when you feel safe and when you’re ready, ask for help, reach out.”

BRASS operates a 24-hour crisis line at 1-800-928-1183.